How to Know When to Break Up
"When you guys go through fights and come to resolutions or compromises, does it feel like you're pushing a rock up a hill or does it feel like you're pushing a rock down a hill? Does each subsequent fight get easier because of the previous fights, or is it getting harder? Every relationship I've had that failed—it got harder, it was a rock going up a hill. Whereas with my wife, it was a rock going down a hill. Every subsequent fight got easier because of the things we learned in the resolutions and compromises we came to in the previous ones." — Mark Manson
Description
Mark Manson offers a simple but powerful test for evaluating relationship health: the direction of your conflicts over time. In healthy relationships, fights become easier to navigate because both partners learn from previous disagreements, develop better communication skills, and build trust through successful conflict resolution. Each argument teaches you something about each other's needs and boundaries, making future conflicts more manageable. In unhealthy relationships, fights become increasingly exhausting and destructive because the same patterns repeat without growth or learning. This "rock test" helped one of Manson's friends realize his relationship was doomed—if you're constantly pushing uphill with no progress, it might be time to let go and find someone where the work gets easier, not harder, over time.
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